Step 9 is the action phase of the accountability established in Step 8. It focuses on healing, restoration, and responsibility for the harm caused during addiction. Making amends requires humility, sincerity, and a willingness to repair relationships. This step is about more than just saying "I'm sorry"; it's about actively taking steps to make things right whenever possible. By addressing past wrongs, members find freedom from guilt and shame and create the foundation for healthier relationships moving forward.
Applying Step 9 involves careful planning, honesty, and sensitivity. Here’s how to approach this step:
Review your Step 8 list and identify who you can safely and meaningfully approach to make amends.
Approach each person with humility and a genuine desire to take responsibility for your actions.
Be specific about the harm caused and avoid blaming others. Focus on your role in the situation.
Whenever possible, take concrete actions to repair the harm, such as repaying debts or restoring trust.
Recognize that some individuals may not be ready to hear your amends. Accept their response without pressure or defensiveness.
Jason borrowed money from friends during his addiction and never repaid it. In Step 9, he approached them, apologized, and set up a repayment plan to make things right.
Maria admitted to her siblings how her actions hurt their relationship. While she couldn’t undo the past, she committed to being honest and dependable moving forward.
Sarah reached out to a former employer she had wronged by stealing from the workplace. She admitted her wrongdoing, expressed remorse, and offered to repay the loss.
Discuss strategies for initiating these conversations with humility and sincerity.
Explore concerns about rejection, anger, or other challenges, and brainstorm ways to navigate them.
Consider symbolic actions, such as writing a letter or donating to a cause, to honor the intention of Step 9.
Reflect on the emotional or relational changes experienced after completing this step.
It involves taking concrete actions to make amends for past wrongs while respecting the well-being of others.
It helps release feelings of guilt and shame, fosters accountability, and rebuilds trust in relationships.
Respect their decision and focus on your sincerity. Making amends is about taking responsibility, not controlling the outcome.
In such cases, indirect amends (e.g., a symbolic gesture or letter) may be appropriate. Discuss this with your sponsor.
No, this step can be an ongoing process. Approach it with patience and persistence as opportunities arise.
Step 9 is a profound opportunity for healing and restoration. By taking responsibility for past wrongs and making sincere amends, members free themselves from the weight of guilt and strengthen their relationships. This step requires courage, humility, and sensitivity, emphasizing actions that foster healing without causing further harm. Through Step 9, members can move forward with clarity and peace, building a stronger foundation for long-term recovery.