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Substance abuse can strain any relationship, and a marriage is no exception. This strain on the relationship can lead to communication breakdowns, emotional disconnect, and distrust building between both partners. Rehab for married couples is a valuable step in the healing journey, not just for recovery but for the relationship itself. Shared recovery can improve the success rate of long term sobriety for both partners, help restore trust and emotional connection, while helping to create mutual accountability. When married partners go through Rehab together they can tackle these issues together and hopefully come out on the other side with a healthy relationship where both partners thrive.
Beginning to understand how addiction affects a marriage requires you to recognize that addiction doesn't just affect you the individual, but your partner as well as the entire relationship. Substance abuse can result in emotional distance forming between two partners, feelings of betrayal, and even loss of trust. In many cases involving addiction in a marriage, we see forms of enabling or codependency. Whether intentional or not enabling or codependent patterns can be detrimental to the long term success of any relationship, especially a marriage. Facing these patterns and relationship dynamics head on is imperative to healing as all parties in the marriage need to address how substance abuse impacts their relationship specifically and work hand in hand toward reestablishing trust, emotional connections, and eventually long term recovery.
Partners who participate in treatment together can learn how to support one another instead of enabling. Along with improving communication and helping heal emotional distance couples who seek treatment together often find common ground which helps build a foundation of mutual understanding and accountability. This understanding and accountability are the main reasons that couples rehab can be such a vital solution for married addicts. Tackling the unique challenge of addiction in a marriage helps to pave the road to a long term successful relationship that continues long after rehab.
Going to rehab with your partner can have many benefits that can be good for both the individual recovery of each partner, and helping rebuild and strengthen the relationship between both partners. By facing substance abuse together, couples are able to address some of the more common issues that can be made worse by addiction. Addressing trust issues, codependency, resentment that has built up, emotional distance that has formed, and even intimacy issues in a structured and supportive environment can help partners build better communication, and coping skills while fostering mutual accountability. This leaves the individual in a better position for long term sobriety and the strong foundation for a successful long term relationship.
One of the best ways to create a stable and healthy environment for long term success in your sobriety and relationship is through spousal support. Relationships are very rarely 50/50, but when both partners actively support each other, they demonstrate their dedication and willingness to be there for each other. This in-home support network is a big factor in the healing of trust and emotional issues while helping to set a standard of accountability. With this support developing and maintaining healthy habits, which are a must for any long term recovery, is easier by reducing feelings of isolation or loneliness. In this method of recovery the journey is shared, likely increasing chances of long term success.
The spousal support network is a big part of helping reestablish trust and effective communication within the marriage. Trust and Communication go hand in hand, which is why one can not be fixed without the other. Couples rehab can offer many options through individual or group therapy, couples counseling, and even relationship coaches for you and your partner to focus on improving communication to increase trust. This will allow partners to deal with past emotional damage, express how they feel, and resolve conflict in a much healthier way. When Trust and Communication improve in a relationship between addicts, accountability is born. You will have the tools to properly express yourself to your partner and they will have the same in return. As you continue the journey of recovery that trust and communication will allow you both to hold the other accountable for their actions and words.
Getting sober or fixing a marriage are both daunting tasks, but it seems when done together properly both partners are left in a much better situation than before they started. It's important to make sure that you choose the proper facility, we will go over exactly that shortly, and that you start with personal accountability. As a team working towards sobriety you can both help rebuild the trust and communication channels which in turn will build a more robust emotional connection. This connection specifically is where the long term success in the relationship and sobriety come from.
Making sure you choose the right Rehab for you and your spouse is extremely important. Luckily you have several options when it comes to the types of rehab programs available to married couples, so you can make the best choice to fit your unique needs. Inpatient Programs offer a residential approach, where you live fulltime in the facility. This fully immersive approach offers more structured treatment, and is often a significant factor in helping to create healthy habits that last. Outpatient programs offer different levels of flexibility and varying commitment levels. This flexibility allows you and your partner access to the therapy and treatment you need while being able to maintain daily responsibilities. It's important to remember to hold yourself accountable during outpatient treatment, if you and your partner are confident you can do that, outpatient treatment could be a great option for your recovery and marriage. There are even some Rehab Centers that are focused specifically on couples, offering specialized treatment for co-occurring mental health issues.
The heavily structured environment of Inpatient Rehab Programs helps to provide Married Couples with accountability in situations where the individuals are unable to do so themselves. Through intense substance abuse treatment you and your partner can gain the tools to maintain Mutual Accountability on your own. These treatments can include group therapy, couples counseling, and individual therapy. Some facilities will also offer more detailed treatments in addition to traditional options such as couples detox services, aftercare planning and addressing co-occuring mental health issues. With inpatient programs, married couples are able to focus entirely on their recovery, helping them rebuild their relationship through improved communication, emotional healing, and mutual accountability.
There are generally main types of Outpatient Rehab Programs, OP (Out-Patient), and IOP (Intensive Out-Patient). Traditional outpatient rehab programs offer a more flexible treatment plan for you and your partner, allowing you to attend group or individual therapies and counseling on your own time. Outpatient Rehab programs allow married couples to still maintain a semblance of their personal lives by being able to attend to personal responsibilities such as work, education, or child care. This comes at the cost of less accountability, when you are still living in old patterns it's easier to struggle in your recovery, that’s why it’s very important to hold yourself accountable in these situations. The other option you and your partner have is IOP or Intensive Out-Patient Rehab, this is generally considered as an alternative to Inpatient Rehab when the individuals are dealing with less severe addiction situations. IOP includes an aspect of monitoring, whether through devices such as ankle monitors, random home visits or drug screenings, and many other ways the program itself helps provide accountability during treatment while allowing you and your spouse the freedom to handle your responsibilities.
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Couples therapy is one of, if not the biggest part of treatment that focuses on BOTH the relationship and people in it. Therapy sessions with your partner can help you both to address emotional hurts you have suffered due to your partners or your own addiction. This safe environment is directly manufactured to help facilitate married couples to deal with deep pain, while healing them and developing healthy communication. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and Family Systems Therapy (FST) are some of the more popular options offered by Rehab Facilities. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy offers couples the tools to change harmful patterns and develop healthy habits. Family Systems Therapy helps you and your partner explore relationship dynamics and how they may have and will affect your relationship. Emotionally Focused Therapy helps couples heal and strengthen their emotional bond. Each of these methods of focused therapy helps you and your partner build healthy habits, work through conflict, heal emotional damage, rebuild trust, while ultimately building the foundation for a long and healthy relationship and sobriety.
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While both individual and joint therapy are integral in a couples addiction recovery, each offers its own unique benefits. Joint Therapy focuses on the couple themselves by utilizing proven techniques and strategies. This joint approach helps you and your partner overcome conflict, build better communication, and restore trust. Individual Therapy helps you to focus on your own personal issues. This can be a great way of addressing past trauma, any root causes that may have helped lead to addiction, and even any ongoing mental health issues. Both options are used to help establish mutual accountability, which again is a main part of the foundation for a healthy long term relationship.
both of these treatment plans offer you and your spouse tools to help in your relationship and recovery, finding a balance between the two should be your goal. Just one form of treatment alone, while still a positive step, will not give couples as good of a chance for long term success. Long term success requires you and your partner to take each of your personal recoveries as serious as you take your relationship recovery. Balance is so important because each person must give equal attention to themselves and their partner. This can get tricky when you consider some challenges couples face when trying to begin their recovery.
The best way to address personal addiction issues is with individual therapy, as its main focus is you the individual. These one on one settings allow you to uncover contributing factors such as trauma, mental health disorders, or stress. Individual Therapy is also a great way of addressing one of the main root causes for addiction: unresolved emotional issues. It’s easier to begin to deal with these very tough issues in the empathetic, and confidential space that is individual therapy. You are able to develop a robust foundation for your sobriety by prioritizing your personal growth.
Addiction is often a root cause for the creation of distrust, communication breakdowns, and emotional distance forming in a relationship. Couples counseling helps the couple as a whole to begin to address these issues. You and your partner will be able to begin the healing journey by working through the fallout of addiction together as a team. This teamwork helps to reestablish trust and rebuild communication pathways between you and your spouse. You will learn how to incorporate a much better support dynamic between the two of you while gaining the tools to help resolve conflict. Couples counseling is an important part of any couples recovery and helps lead to a much healthier post recovery relationship.
While there are many challenges facing couples in Rehab Programs, there is one above the rest that we see more often than others: Codependency. Codependency can take many forms, often in couples dealing with addiction what is observed is enabling. Enabling can be any form of support from a partner that “enables” or allows their partner's harmful behavior to continue. This can make it hard to balance individual recovery with relationship issues due to the fact emotional conflict can distract from personal/relationship growth. In addition to addressing any enabling in the relationship, couples need to become comfortable establishing boundaries. Establishing boundaries can be very difficult in relationships where unhealthy patterns and habits have formed.
Making sure you deal with Codependency during your recovery with your partner is extremely important. Whether dealing with enabling, excessive reliance on one partner, or even both, you need to get a handle on it quickly to avoid any hindrance to self growth and recovery progress. One of the main goals during this period in your recovery should be trying to identify how past behavior and patterns have led to the cycle of addiction. Once we have identified any root causes to the cycle it makes it easier to address the issues, and you need to deal with any codependency issues for this to happen.
As stated before, recovery within a married couple is a balance between two very important problems, your marriage and your personal recovery. Remaining focused on your personal recovery can become difficult when couples counseling and therapy has a high chance of digging up past hurts, betrayals, and emotional damage caused by both partners. Due to the high possibility of these issues arising it is extremely important to remain focused on your personal recovery, through individual treatment options and self accountability you can improve the support dynamic within the relationship. As the saying goes “If you're not good to/for yourself, you can't be good to/for anyone else.”. The controlled environment of couples treatment in Rehab allows for you and your partner to deal with the conflict in your relationship and personal lives, allowing for long term success.
Boundaries are an important way that you and your partner can help protect your own recovery journey. Boundaries help create space for personal development, personal development, and self care. In relationships where one or more partners are dealing with addiction, it's easy for lines to blur between support and excessive reliance. This is a leading factor in codependent and enabling patterns beginning, this is where boundaries play a huge role. Boundaries are a way for you and your partner to communicate your needs and emotions while being self reliant and respectful of your partner. Boundaries along with commitment to treatment is the best way to set a path to success in your long term recovery and relationship.
Choosing the right Rehab Center for you and your partner can be a very anxiety inducing task, but it’s the most crucial first step in any married couple's addiction recovery. It's important to make sure that couple’s find a center and program that best fits their needs, both as a couple and individuals. You should take into account each of you and your partner's unique addiction and health needs, while being honest about the severity of your addictions to determine if inpatient or outpatient facilities are best. Key points like after care planning/support, program structure and intensity, and facility setting should also be considered. Lastly make sure the Rehab Center is properly licensed and offers recognized therapy options like (CBT) and others mentioned previously.
Making sure both partner’s needs are met can be difficult in some situations. Remember balance between personal growth and relationship growth is very important, you need to make sure the facility is robust enough to allow each of you to focus on personal goals first and foremost. Things to look for would be trauma focused therapy, medical detox, daily therapy and counseling, and dual diagnosis treatment. Then make sure you and your partner will have access to joint and group therapy. The facility should offer some sort of marriage counseling preferably as an individual couple and as a group with other couples to help foster a sense of community. If couples are able to have this type of environment it greatly increases their ability to work through conflict, repair emotional damage all while being able to progress in their personal recovery.
When seeking any sort of medical treatment it is imperative that you find someone with proper licensing and training. When it comes to Rehab and Therapy that can be more difficult than a doctor or dentist. Couples need to make sure they find a Rehab Center that is properly accredited and licensed. Look for facilities recognized by organizations like the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (JCAHO), or Commission on Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities (CARF). Along with proper accreditation look for therapists who are Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT), Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW), or Licensed Psychologists (Ph.D. or PsyD). These are the most common professionals that are best equipped to help married couples struggling with addictions.
In conclusion, couples who attend rehab together receive a comprehensive approach to both relationship healing/growth and individual addiction treatment. Participating in a balance of individual and couples therapy, and counseling, couples can begin to rebuild trust, heal past emotional hurts or trauma, all while building healthy habits. Boundaries are important in establishing space to heal and better communication. The long term benefits of Couples Rehab are significant and when couples dedicate themselves to the task they greatly improve their chances of lasting recovery and a successful relationship.
Make sure that you and your spouse choose the right facility that offers treatments and environments conducive to both of your recoveries. This means checking that the rehab is properly accredited with organizations like JCAHO and CARF, and that they employ licensed therapists that are either a Ph.D, PsyD, LCSW or LMFT. In their care along with recognized CBT and EFT partners will learn to communicate better, helping rebuild emotional intimacy and trust. All of these factors, if taken seriously, will help make both partners in a married couple closer in their relationship and better set for long term sobriety as individuals.
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